All the rumors are true. I'm cold 'round the heart. I don't care about children. Human children, anyway. Baby pandas are fuzzy and adorable. I'd throw money at them any day.

But this comic isn't about being mean. It's about being contrary for the sake of drawing notice to a misjustice.

Corporations, by law, are not allowed to care. Individuals inside corporations can care, but the company itself cannot. It is legally bound to make as much money as possible. As it turns out, one way to make money is to report less to the government. Give some away, drop to a lower tax bracket, and come out ahead.

Complicated offshore banking helps too.

But I can appreciate the reasoning behind corporate-sponsored charities, however misguided, as it does result in some sort of something for someone (once the clowns, vendors, and carni's have been paid, along with any other bureaucratic expenses, all tax-deductible).

What I can't appreciate, what I downright detest, is when a company, say the company you work for, tries to squeeze you, the minimum-wage-earning lackey, to donate your own money to the cause. "Why haven't you given any money yet?" "Because I have resorted to selling crack between shifts to pay my rent, you stingy ratters."

Quite frankly, that isn't fair. People below the poverty line should not feel guilted into spending their beer money on vouchers to save some generic group of ruffians.

Unless they're Catholic.

Which sort of charity are you most likely to support?