Getting old is great.

Being an adult is great.

As a kid, I suspected the best thing about being an adult would be cheaper car insurance and the right to drink whiskey while taking a bath.

But there's so much more!

Chief among the perks are practical birthday presents. Every year I receive a shipment of socks from my mom, and just in the nick of time. White socks, dress socks, knee-highs, argyles.

Life is beautiful.

Would you ever get plastic surgery to make you look like a taut, shiny caricature of your younger self?