It is true. My reputation often precedes me. Nobody that knows me is stupid enough to offer to buy me dinner. At 55kg, I can pack away as much as 5kg a day. Mostly carbs and starches. Atkins was a fool.

So, true story: Once upon a time I was sweet on this girl, but we were still in that awkward competitive/flirtatious stage. "You cannot eat three feet of sub!" she screamed as I presented the coupon to the cashier. "Oh yeah?!?" I cleverly retorted. So of course I did. I remember it well: she wore blue, my sandwich was tuna. In retrospect, there was probably a sexier way to prove myself a worthy male specimen.

And in other news... it is apparently harder to represent a sandwich in three colors than a human being. Go figure. Advanced species indeed!

Assuming cost is no concern, what size sub sandwich would you order?